Lost
by immortalnite666
Summary: Tsukiyama has had the biggest crush ever on the white-haired screamer in the metal band called Ghoul for the longest time
1. Chapter 1

Tsukiyama could remember the day he realised he liked Kaneki. He had been watching an interveiw of the band. All six members were sitting around an interveiwer. There was Rize, the keyboardist, Touka, the bassist, Naki, the lead guitarist, Banjou, the drummer, Ayato, Touka's brother and the clean vocalist and Kaneki, the unclean vocalist or screamer. Tsukiyama could recall the exact line that had spelt his doom. Ghoul had just hit their first popularity boom and the interveiwer was asking their opinions on political and social issues.

"What are your feelings on gay rights?"

The red-haired woman interviewing them had asked. Kaneki had chuckled and put his hands behind his head to stretch.

"My opinions on gays? Ayato, come here. I have something to tell you."

Ayato had given him a weird look but walked over to him. As soon as he was within reaching distance, Kaneki reached up and grabbed his collar, pulling their faces closer. He then smashed their lips together roughly for several seconds before shoving the disoriented singer away.

"That's my opinion."

Ayato stumbled for a moment before regaining his balance and sitting back down next to his sister.

"You could have given me some warning, you know."

Ayato mumbled, wiping his mouth off with the back of his hand. Kaneki shrugged, casually ignoring the shocked interviewer.

"Yea, I could have."

That scene replayed over and over in Tsukiyama's head the day after he saw it. Eventually, Ayato's face got blurrier and his hair got several shades lighteruntil it matched Tsukiyama's. It was a weird feeling, knowing he liked someone like Kaneki. Normally, he could have just put it off as a celebrity crush, but Kaneki and the rest of the Ghouls went to the same college as him. He'd see them around if they weren't touring, and he went to any and all local shows they had. Obsessed? Only a little. They were actually really quite good. Tsukiyama had liked them long before he got a crush on their screamer. However, he did harbor the little hope that Kaneki might one day notice him if he went to every show possible. Speaking of shows, the Ghouls actually had one that night. Tsukiyama's phone had gone off just a few minutes before to remind him and he was now scurrying about to get ready. He threw on a tight, blue graphic tee over black skinny jeans. Hurrying to his bathroom, he grabbed the tube of smear-proof eyeliner he only used for shows and put on just enough to make his eyes pop a little. Checking his phone again to confirm the location, Tsukiyama headed out. He made sure to leave his phone at home. Since he wasn't bringing a bag, he didn't have anywhere else safe to put it and he had learned pretty early on that carrying your phone in your pocket while moshing didn't work. Fortunately for him, the venue was within walking distance. So that way, he couldn't justify bringing his wallet either. Tsukiyama had bad habit of drinking more than he should anytime there was alcohol being served and then waking up next to a stranger the following day. He, only somewhat narcissisticly, put it down to being exceptionally good looking. When he arrived at the small outdoor stage, they had almost started. Tsukiyama got as close as he could, ready to use the moshpits to move forward once they started playing. They played a good set, a nice mixture of newer songs and old favorites. Tsukiyama was able to get to the foot of the stage, close enough that he could have tried to touch Naki if he had felt like having his fingers trampled. Finally, they paused and Touka came up and snatched her brother's microphone.

"Since this was actually the first venue we played in when we were starting out, we thought we'd unveil our new single here. This is dedicated to a loyal fan of our Kaneki who's been to literally every show we've done in this town."

Touka paused and rolled her eyes, her voice slipping into the sarcastic, bored tone that only the Kirishima sibilings could pull off well.

"And you think we haven't noticed."

With that, she gave the microphone back and nodded to Naki. The guitar started up, playing a fast sucession of power chords. The energetic tempo built up the tension slowly, the muscles of everyone in the crowd tensed and ready to move. Finally, the bass and drums kicked in and the crowd exploded. Heads moved up and down out of sync as people jumped, the top of the crowd like a smoothly undulating wave. The keyboard played a higher-pitched tune on top of the main melody, creating an eerie, haunted sound. Kaneki grabbed his microphone off the stand and started screaming.

" _WHO THE FUCK AM I?_  
 _YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME?_  
 _YOU SHOULDN'T TRUST ME_  
 _CUT OFF MY LIMBS_  
 _AND I'D BE A SNAKE_  
 _WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT PERSON WHO I WAS?_  
 _WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?_  
 _WHERE DID I GO?"_

Kaneki spun away from the microphone, clutching his head like he really wanted to know the answer as Ayato stepped over to get it.

 _"Tell me, tell me, tell me_  
 _Who am I now?_  
 _I think I've lost sight of myself._  
 _This world keeps spinning, tearing away pieces of me."_

Kaneki came up behind Ayato, shoving him away. Tsukiyama at first had wondered why they didn't use the second microphone on stage when they switched, but he had soon come to accept that perhaps they just liked throwing each other around on stage.

 _"WHAT HAVE I BECOME?_  
 _THIS WORLD HAS CHANGED ME_  
 _WHERE AM I NOW_  
 _I THINK I'M DEAD!"_

 _"It seems like I've been in hell_  
 _This world was not kind to me_  
 _I can't come back_  
 _I don't know where I am"_

 _"I USED TO BE SO WARM_  
 _NOW MY HEART FEELS LIKE ICE_  
 _I'M LOST_ "

Tsukiyama's breath caught in his throat. Kaneki had stopped screaming during the guitar solo and was staring right at him. Then he reached over and took the microphone, this time _singing._

 _"Can you see me?_  
 _I'm lost but I'm still here._  
 _Just reach out your hand to me._  
 _And pull me back to this world."_

Tsukiyama had never heard Kaneki sing before. It was beautiful. His voice was higher than Tsukiyama would have expected, and surprisingly smooth. But he barely had time to appreciate the novelty before Kaneki started screaming again and Tsukiyama had to move or get caught in a moshpit.

"WHAT HAVE I BECOME?  
 _THIS WORLD HAS CHANGED ME_  
 _WHERE AM I NOW_  
 _I THINK I'M DEAD!"_

Kaneki didn't make eye contact with Tsukiyama for the rest of the song, but that was ok with him. His thirty seconds of acknowledgement were enough. As Tsukiyama was walking through the parking lot after the show ended, he noticed the tour bus that the ghouls used. It was easily recognizable since the way the band had decided to decorate it was get several buckets of grey, red and black paint ad splatter it on the side of the bus. Tsukiyama frowned at first, then remembered they had just finished touring for their last album, so this was probably their first show back home. The door to the bus opened and all six members got off. Tsukiyama, still walking towards the exit of the parking lot, noticed Kaneki's eyes scanning the crowds exiting the venue. Tsukiyama didn't think much of it, and continued walking. As he was passing their group, someone ran up and grabbed his arm.

"Not so fast, french boy. Got anywhere to be?"


	2. Chapter 2

Tsukiyama turned, shocked to find Kaneki tugging on his arm.

"You're not leaving yet, right? I mean, I just sang a song for you."

Tsukiyama sputtered unattractively at this. That song had been for _him_? Kaneki looked at his expression and laughed, pulling Tsukiyama back to stand with the rest of the band.

"I didn't think you meant _me_."

Tsukiyama said. Touka laughed and Rize rolled her eyes at him.

"You've been to every show we do here. And we're in the same college. Of course I noticed your crush, Tsukiyama Shuu. You're not bad-looking yourself, you know."

Kaneki laughed. He then turned to his band mates.

"Well, you know what to do. Go have a drink for me."

The girls and Naki just laughed and began to walk off, arms linked and gossiping about the whatever it is girls gossip about. Banjou shot Kaneki a bemused look that screamed ' _really?_ '. Ayato glared at Tsukiyama before walking off after them. Tsukiyama frowned. Had he angered Ayato? He didn't think so, considering they had never spoken, but there had to be a reason he was getting the Kirishima Death Glare.

"Did I insult Ayato somehow?"

He asked Kaneki. He shook his head, laughing.

"Nah, he's just pissy since you're staying here with me and not him."

Kaneki pulled Tsukiyama onto the tour bus. Tsukiyama raised his purple eyebrows.

"Does he usually stay here with you?"

Kaneki grinned, shutting the door behind them.

"Well, yes. I need someone to practise on so I'll be decent when I find someone I want to keep around."

Kaneki walked up closer to Tsukiyama and looped his arms around the other man's neck.

"But enough about Ayato. I don't feel like sharing the spotlight tonight."

Kaneki used his arms to pull Tsukiyama down into an open-mouthed kiss, giving him no time to think. Tsukiyama went with it easily, letting his brain take a backseat and kissing the white-haired screamer back roughly. Their tongues tangled and Tsukiyama locked his arms around Kaneki's waist. Both were panting and gasping, little moans escaping from Kaneki. Tsukiyama noticed the tightness in his pants and rolled his hips against Kaneki's, both of their hard-ons obvious and aching.

"Fuck."

Kaneki muttered against his lips. His hands slipped under Tsukiyama's shirt, pulling it off before taking his own off. He began walking backwards through the tour bus, neither seperating. When Kaneki's lower back bumped against his bunk, Tsukiyama paused and pushed him back onto it, climbing over him. Kaneki growled and grabbed his shoulders. With one quick movement, he reversed their positions.

"Uh-uh. I'm the star of the show. And I don't bottom like that."

Kaneki said, straddling his hips. Smirking down at him, he deftly undid the buttons on Tsukiyama's jeans.

"You're going to have to help me get these off, you know. I don't mind, though. They made your ass look _great_."

Tsukiyama moaned, pulling Kaneki down to kiss him again. Nipping his bottom lip, Tsukiyama worked on helping him pull his jeans off. Once he was out of them, Kaneki flung them to the wall on the other side of the bunk. They were quickly joined by the rest of their clothes. Kaneki broke the kiss, leaning over Tsukiyama. He reached an arm into the corner of the bunk, pulling out a small bottle. Grinning, he sat back up.

"Ready for the show, Shuu?"

Uncapping the lottle bottle, he smeared the slick substance over several fingers. Setting the bottle back down, he reached behind himself. Tsukiyama's eyes widened and he hardened even more as he realised what Kaneki was about to do. His face twitched a little when he put the first finger in. He added a second quickly after and began to move them.

"Ahh... Shuu... hah..."

Kaneki moaned, writhing on top of Tsukiyama. Watching him fuck himself on his fingers was too much. His hand jumped up to grab his hip, but Kaneki's other hand slapped it away.

"Heh, not yet."

Kaneki added a third finger, moaning even louder. It took all of Tsukiyama's will power not to grab the smaller male, flip him over and just fuck him, _hard._ Finally, Kaneki pulled his fingers out and lifted his body up so he was hovering over Tsukiyama's hard member. Looking straight into his eyes through messy white hair, he slowly relaxed his muscles and sank down until he was fully seated in his lap.

"Damn, you're big."

Kaneki rocked back and forth, sending waves of pleasure washing over him. Tsukiyama let his head fall back on the pillow, a moan escaping his lips as his hands flew up to grip Kaneki's hips. Kaneki rose back up on his thighs before slamming back down.

"Ahh... Ken..."

Kaneki laughed breathlessly, starting to move faster.

"I love you like this, Shuu. Looking totally wreaked and desperate for me. You look so hot."

Kaneki moaned. Tsukiyama sat up, cupping the back of his head and kissing him hard. Kaneki laughed into his mouth and pushed him back down. He started moving faster, Tsukiyama thrusting up in time to meet him. His hand closed around Kaneki's hard and leaking member. He moaned and his hands landed on Tsukiyama's shoulders to support himself. With a drawn out groan from the both of them, they climaxed. Kaneki shuddered, long ribbons of white spewing over his and Tsukiyama's stomach. He slumped to the side, separating from Tsukiyama.

"Hah, that was a great decision. You're good."

Kaneki grabbed some tissues and cleaned himself off, then reached down to grab the blanket. He pulled it up over them both.

"You want me to stay?"

Tsukiyama asked. He had sort of expected Kaneki to kick him right out.

"Well, yeah."

Kaneki leaned over him, kissing him a little more slowly this time. Tsukiyama returned the kiss, fingers trailing lightly over his back. Kaneki broke the kiss, laying his head down on his chest.

"G'night."

Tsukiyama woke up to the light of a phone screen on his face.

"Kaneki?"

Kaneki lifted his head up from Tsukiyama's bare chest to look at him.

"Ohayo. Your friend Kanae is texting me. He's angry since neither of us are in class right now and he knows you went to my show last night."

Tsukiyama sighed.

"Why is he angry at you, then?"

Kaneki laughed.

"Hell if I know. It's not a crime to skip school since you overslept because you had a round with your boyfriend the previous night. As for why he's texting _me,_ I think that's because you left your phone at home. I wrote my number on your hand by the way."

Tsukiyama raised his eyebrows at the top of the white head.

"Boyfriend?"

Kaneki nodded.

"Yep. You don't get a choice. I missed seeing you in the crowd when I went on tour, you know. Not seeing you in the crowd, it made it less fun for me. So you owe me a chance with you after causing me that much discomfort."

Tsukiyama tried to hide the smile creeping across his face at the words. Kaneki said it in his usual tone, like it wasn't anything special, but Tsukiyama knew it was.

"Then you'd better use me instead of Ayato, mon cher."

Kaneki rolled onto his stomach so they were facing.

"What, jealous Oberon?"

Kaneki laughed.

"Sorry. I used to read a lot when I was younger. And of course. I swear, I won't do anything like that with Ayato anymore."

Kaneki leaned up to kiss him. His tongue slid over Tsukiyama's bottom lip and he nipped at it lightly. Tsukiyama closed his eyes, fingers threading through the soft white hair.

"Kaneki..."

"What? We're already late for school. It's fine if we're more late..."


End file.
